Time

I’d like to begin this post with a huge round of applause and bout of celebration for everyone in my Enlgish class. We did it! Our 15 page reasearch paper was due today, the stress in the room has visibly lifted, and I’m personally looking forward to our burning party on Friday night. God bless us all.

Moving on, I want to take this time to thank God for the steady hand He’s had in my life recently. For those of you who are not aware, my parents were divorced in the August of 2017, and it has been one of the hardest things I have ever been through. If you read my last post, you’ll understand that my parents getting divorced was not a surprise. Thier divorce was like this looming thing off in the distance. Sometimes you caould really feel it’s presence like a psychial weight in every breath. Other days, the light shone bright enough to force it to retreat into the shadows. When it finally came, it was like the dark thing in the distance was acutally being slowly released onto my chest until somebody lost their grip and crushed me.

Then came the most academically stressful and challenging year of my life; 15 page papers, speech class (YIKES!), honors foreign language courses, accounting, honors chemistry. The only word that truly fits here is yikes. I survived first semester with the second and third Cs of my life, and moved on to second semester. I was going to be ok. Then my father decided I was too incompetent with my life and declared I needed to do something with my life.

Cue my first job. Is started out as something fun to do with my time, and I genuinely enjoyed it. Sure, it stressed me out because I wanted nothing more than to be perfect for my employer, and I was constatnly terrifed of making a mistake. It started out good. I was scheduled a couple times a week, and I still had time for homework and movies. Movies are essentail to my mental health since I am and extreme introvert and I’m constantly giving. I have to have time for me. And in this need rises the conflict.

I started getting scheduled more. It was ok the first week, but as time went on, working every weekday became so overwhelming my grades slipped pretty dramatically and I started to dance on the edge of depression again. My dad in particular didn’t understand the issue, and I fell behind on my massive paper. Then God swooped in and saved me.

So thank you Lord. Thank you for giving me time to do what I neeed. Thank you for giving me days off work when I do not even deserve life itself. Additionally, blessed be those of you who have full time jobs and a thousand other things going on.

My advice for today: Find time to breathe. Then find time to thank God for it.

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